I tried to write this post for so many times, but it never was the right time. My pregnancy was such an emotional rollercoaster that this post would came out in million different versions and none of them would be the right one. Now when my baby’s at home and everything is just at the right place, just where everything should be, I decided to finally write this post and share with you my experience with this very sensitive theme; unplanned pregnancy.
I had the most perfect life before I got pregnant, I was travelling for work and pleasure, sightseeing for days, visiting rock concerts all over the Europe, attending different events for work, having ‘alone time’ dinner parties with my fiancé, we were also shopping for hours and sometimes for days,.. the list can go on and on. I was having so much quality ‘alone’ time with my fiancé that I never imagined anything different. We were in relationship for 13 years, almost all my friends already had babies and at one point I actually thought that I won’t be that lucky anytime soon or maybe ever so I continue to live my super cozy life. When I figured out that I’m pregnant, I literally almost passed out in the bathroom and I’m so grateful to this day that I was on the phone with my best friend Mateja who calmed me down just enough so I couldn’t fell and kill myself by accident. I was stressed beyond imagination but after one minute of crying that my life is over and her yelling how happy she is for me, my tears of fear melted into tears of pure happiness. Why I’m telling you this? It’s because this is just a normal faze that everybody goes through who got pregnant unplanned or ‘by accident’ if you wish. When I told my fiancé the news, he went on just the same rollercoaster and of course he pulled me in with him. We really needed quite some time to process what’s happened, that was actually a week or even more.
Because unplanned pregnancy can affect the rest of your life and not just negatively meaning, all these steps are very natural and normal. Pregnancy literally turns your life upside down. When you start to consider what comes to the plate and when you look at all variables; from the physical burden of pregnancy, financial implications of having a child to consequences you can experience in your relationship, to social life, effect on your career and business everything that comes with it can be super overwhelming. You have to try to understand what each of these variables mean and try just to cope with it. Shock, anxiety, fear in combination with happiness, different attacks of emotions are perfectly natural to feel so what’s really important here that you are surrounded with people that love you unconditionally, guide you and provide you support in these days. Unfortunately I didn’t have these people besides my fiancé and my best triend, so we went through everything almost completely alone and that was really hard. And not just alone, some particular people actually wanted to make me feel very bad because I got pregnant and they made sure to make my every day a living hell. My baby wasn’t welcome and I cannot put into words how hurtful that was and even now when I’m typing this article and I’m relieving all these events and feelings, I’m having my eyes brimming in tears.
Most pregnancies like mine, with these circumstances and environment, most likely end with abortion or in better case, with postpartum depression and I’m very much blessed that I haven’t encounter any of them, thanks to my fiancé, his family and my best friend Mateja.
Abortion is also one of the very sensitive and one of the most spoken themes when it comes to unplanned pregnancies. I didn’t think of it by no means untill when I came from the fist ultrasound with the first photo of my unborn baby and when I told that I’m three months pregnant already, one person started to hitting her head with the photo in her hand and the other one said that I need to go and to the abortion. But not even then, abortion wasn’t an option. I love my baby daddy unconditionally and what happened to us was something I wished for to happen sometime in the future and even unplanned, this pregnancy was the best thing that’s happened to me in my entire life. I mentioned abortion also because world statistics are quite frightening; the global rate of unplanned pregnancies was estimated at aproximately 44% of all pregnancies and of these, 50% will end with abortion, 13% with miscarriage and and 38% resulted in an unplanned birth. But now I personally think that no decision should be ever judged, especially when it comes to abortion. Unplanned pregnancy doesn’t happen only to teen moms but also to couples in committed relationships, married couples, single ones, it can happen to all kinds and all types of people in all kinds of circumstances, to rich and socialy disadvantaged people, it can happen to anyone, anytime. As I mentioned before, when it comes to pregnancy, there are many variables that come with it and if there is no option, no possible way that you can go further with the pregnancy, abortion is there as an option. To be honest with you, before I got pregnant, I always judged those who got an abortion but I understand them now so clearly and I won’t ever judge them even though, it wasn’t something that I would choose to do. Anyways, when I look back now and even though it was very hard, I’m very much thankful for this experience because it shaped me into the person and mother that I am now and giving birth to my baby girl was the best thing that’s ever happened to us. I also figured that I was blinded by some people for which I thought that they love me unconditionally, but they never did and never will. But it’s amazing to see how all the masks they tend to wear actually all the time, suddenly fall down when something isn’t the way then imagined and when they figure that they simply can’t persuade you to follow their rules and ideas, right? And I’m ok with that, I see now, I’m in peace with that and I can live with that. I have my own family now.
So this post was quite different, I shared with you my story and some my own thoughts about unplanned pregnancy and I hope some of you who are maybe in similar situation as I was and if you’re maybe in some distress about your unplanned pregnancy, found some interesting and inspiring, maybe even encouraging thoughts to figure out your decisions and future. If you have any questions, please feel free to send me an email or private message here or on Instagram and I’d be happy to talk with you.
I will be back with you with new post soon loves! Good night.